Today is the Day…
Hi everyone! Christopher here, Tracey’s editor. As of right now, Tracey has just gone off for her surgery. Her support team (in official “onmylastleg.com support team” t-shirts) are all gathered here in the hospital, waiting for her return. This morning, on the big day of the surgery, the first thing Tracey did when she woke up was bang out some notes for today’s blog entry. Her head must have been swimming with a million things, but her priority was documenting the big day. It’s one of the reasons I love her. Here is her final pre-surgery blog post!
Today’s the day!
Life as I know it will be forever changed—God willing, for the better! My anxiety level is moderate-to-high and even though I’m not really hungry my brain is telling me I’m FUCKING HUNGRY!! Even though I am a girl who practices intermittent fasting (so this should be a breeze), someone told me I can’t do something, therefore I immediately WANT and NEED to do that thing. My eating deadline was midnight last night: thank god for the best editor on the planet and his 11pm-12am hotel room party, where we drank seltzer and ate chips (to all my nutrition clients yes I ate chips, remember I’m chopping off my leg. When you forfeit a limb you can eat all the chips you want. It’s the rules.)
Last night we had a lovely “Last Leg, Last Supper” dinner party in NYC, followed by a night in a hotel to help diminish my anxiety traveling into the city at rush hour. The dinner party was lovely; we laughed, we cried and there were t-shirts. As it turns out, the hotel has not diminished anxiety because as of 8:15am Waze is saying it’s going to take 30 minutes to crawl through traffic. C’MON, CITY TRAFFIC, I GOTTA PUT MY FOOT DOWN, PARDON THE PUN.
I know over the past few weeks I have made light of the whole “chopping off my leg thing”, but the truth is it helps me. If I didn’t laugh, I would be curled up in the fetal position, in the dark, crying. And even with the joking I have officially lost track of my ugly cry count. My best guess at this stage is approximately 22? Today that number may rocket up because everyone is reaching out, offering prayers and support.
I can’t even begin to thank all of you for the outpouring of love, it truly means the world to me and I will never be able to show my gratitude enough. I promise you that in the future if you need me, my bionic ass will be there standing tall right by your side!
So with that, I bid you adieu until next week. I’m taking a breath and taking a leap of faith that this will all be ok when I wake up. And even though the road to reverie will be long, just think: you might actually get to read a post where I am high on morphine – that could be fun!