The Dates (Or: How Facebook Remembers All: The Good, The Bad, and the Occasional Ex-Boyfriend)

In my last post, I mentioned that my first cancer appointment and my first amputation appointment were on exactly the same day, six years apart. How do I know this? Because Facebook casually reminded on the morning of March 21st.

It was a little jarring at first: you see, during my cancer surgeries, losing my leg was my biggest fear. And on the very day I was to take the first steps towards amputation, I was reminded of my terrible anniversary. It felt, for a second, as if the cancer had come back just to gloat. “Hey remember me? It’s been a while: looks like I got your leg after all!”

Yes, in this metaphor, my leg is Toto.

But you know what? Sure, what had once been my biggest fear is now coming to pass, but it’s now on my terms! Funny how that works sometimes.

So instead of dreading these little reminders, I am enjoying them. In fact, Facebook reminded me that on April 4th 2011 I was released from the hospital after my first tumor removal, while on April 4th, 2017 I went for my first meeting with the prosthetist and met an amazing woman, who is also an amputee, who took time out of her life to come and support me. (More on that another day – it definitely deserves its own post).

Even as I am editing this post, Facebook reminded me that I was still hanging tough on May 17, 2011.  That was the day that I came home after the partial removal of my left lung (don’t worry I have two it wasn’t that bad – except if I laughed or coughed).

Image result for Coughing gif
Cover your cough took on a whole new meaning after lung surgery.

What I’m saying is, I’m a numbers girl. I like odd numbers, and I believe that some numbers are sign that good things are happening. Dates are no different! While some may see it as a bad omen that everything is happening around the same time years apart, I see it as an affirmation. An affirmation that I made it out of a tough situation once and came out stronger. Cancer changed me, made me a better person: it made me more caring and it helped me grow. This time around is no different, I’m growing again and learning to find my voice, and maybe allowing myself to be an inspiration by telling my story and being inspired by others.

So even though Facebook anniversary reminders can cause minor PTSD (like the time it posted some sad ridiculous quote I wrote about “new beginnings” after being dumped by some lame guy), it is also a lovely walk down memory lane, allowing me to revisit old pictures of when the kids and dogs were small, 80s hairdos, and visits from family far away.

Facebook a glorious patchwork quilt of happiness and humiliation…damn you 80’s hair!

Even better, it can serve as a reminder that love is real, life is to be lived and that new beginnings do happen…when the time is right. So with 63 days left before the big surgery, I will look forward to every day I open Facebook.

NEXT WEEK: I’m Not Like Other Moms; I’m a Cool Mom

 

 

 

 

  1. Tara

    May 18, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    I LOVE reading this blog Tracey. You always were an awesome writer. I am learning things about your journey I didn’t know. LOVE you girlfriend. ?

  2. Jen

    May 18, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Shit can you not be a cool mom too! Love you girl! You always always got the full picture not the snapshot – and you still do ! Beautifully written I can hear your voice saying it true writing authenticity! I can’t wait till next week! But really cool moms? C’mon the struggle is real !

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